Love gossiping with your partner? Here’s why it is actually good for your relationship

Do you love gossiping with your partner about the same topic or sharing new information with him/her? Well it turns out that occasional, harmless gossip is actually good for your relationship! Yes, that is true. Research studies show that couples who gossip with each other, will develop better relationship bonds, while their relationship happiness will increase. Let’s see how…What the study foundThe researchers at University of California Riverside, conducted a study to determine what impact gossip has on relationships, between romantic partners. The researchers analyzed 76 couples from Southern California who maintained marriage-like relationships between same-gender, and different-gender partners. The Electronically Activated Recorder (EAR) device which recorded brief audio segments from each participant, operated for two weekend periods.The researchers then looked at how much time couples spent gossiping-defined as talking about a person who is not physically present. On average, people spent about 38 minutes a day gossiping, and nearly 30 of those minutes were spent gossiping with their romantic partner. The study found that the more couples gossiped with each other, the higher their reported happiness and, to a slightly lesser extent, the better their relationship quality.It’s important to note that this study shows a link, not proof that gossiping causes happiness. Happier couples maintain active communication through numerous dialogues while they exchange various social details with each other. The researchers think that gossiping between partners creates a sense of connection, because it makes them feel they share a common purpose.What particular actions between two people in a relationship would qualify as gossipPeople usually associate the term “gossip” with negative judgmental conversations which take place when someone talks about another person in their absence. But in this study, gossip is much broader. The practice requires sharing information about people who are not present, regardless of the information being positive or negative or neutral.The system contains the following elements

Comments like “Did you see how she reacted?” contain a light and humorous tone or something like “I can’t believe he said that!” count as gossip. The key is that it’s a shared moment between partners, where they exchange opinions and feelings about someone else.Why gossiping can be good for couplesA relationship can becomes stronger with gossiping, because it creates multiple benefits for the relationship.It builds emotional bonding.When partners discuss others, they simultaneously reveal their core values, judgmental nature and comedic perspective. Team members develop a shared perception, which leads them to believe they operate as a single unified team.The practice enables people to create more robust social connections, which results in stronger trust relationships between them.Gossiping is a form of confiding. The partner who says “I can’t believe she did that”, wants their partner to share their genuine assessment of the situation. The relationship develops emotional safety through these tiny moments of trust, which accumulate into relationship trust.The process allows partners to develop unity, which creates a feeling that they share a common team identityResearchers believe that gossiping between partners, creates a sense of unity, which distinguishes their relationship from outside relationships. The way we speak about our difficult coworkers during our commute home from work, reveals our actual relationships between ourselves and that person. Positive gossip sharing about a friend’s engagement creates extended happy times, which strengthens the bond between the couple.The practice enables people to reach improved mood states, and simultaneously helps them control their stress levels.You can reduce your stress by showing your anger to a person you trust, about the person who creates problems for you. People experience positive emotions through collective laughter at someone’s silly behavior, which brings happiness to all participants.When gossip becomes harmfulThe practice of gossiping becomes dangerous when people fail to maintain proper control over their conversations. The research focused on normal social gossip, which people experience in their daily social interactions instead of ongoing negative criticism. Gossip becomes a problem when:The content contains mostly negative and hostile statements.People who spread false information and private details which could harm others practice this behavior.Is used to put others down to make the couple feel superior.The relationship between partners leads to arguments because they disagree about how each other should behave.The gossip between healthy couples consists of casual and friendly discussions, which they use to express their thoughts instead of harming anyone’s reputation. You need to assess how your gossiping behavior through complaining and judgmental actions, affects your relationships.Tips for healthy “Couple Gossip”The following steps will help you use gossip to create bonds between people:Keep it balanced: Mix positive and neutral gossip with the occasional negative comment.The method requires protection of people from public exposure, through naming and shaming practices. The system should focus on people’s actions instead of attacking their character through statements which include “She’s so fake.”Respect privacy: Don’t share deeply personal secrets that could damage someone else’s life.Check in with your partner: The couple should discuss their comfort levels regarding gossip, because one person might prefer it more than the other.People should employ gossip to build stronger relationships, instead of using it to avoid necessary discussions about their personal matters.What this means for your relationshipThe research reveals that small amounts of gossip between partners are typical in relationships, and they can create positive effects for your relationship. The act of sharing your inner world with someone you trust does not qualify as nosy, or cruel behavior. Couples who gossip in a healthy way develop stronger relationships through better mutual understanding, which creates a sense of unity between them.