At some point, we have asked ourselves, ‘Why do I keep doing this to myself?’ Whether it’s procrastinating on an important deadline, biting our nails until they bleed, or walking away from people before they can reject us, self-sabotage often feels irrational and self-destructive.However, Clinical Psychologist Dr. Charlie Heriot-Maitland, in his new book Controlled Explosions in Mental Health, says these self-sabotaging behaviours may not be as problematic as you think. In fact, these behaviours are rooted in survival instincts.
Self-sabotage is a survival instinct
According to the new psychological analysis, self-harming and self-sabotaging behaviours, such as skin picking to ghosting people, stem from evolutionary survival mechanisms. In the new book, the psychologist explores the biological necessities behind harmful behaviours.Though these behaviours may seem counterintuitive, the brain uses these small harms as a protective shield to prevent further harm, he argued. For example, someone may procrastinate starting a project, causing themselves harm, but trying to prevent a higher-stakes harm of failure or rejection.
“Our brain is a survival machine. It is programmed not to optimise our happiness and well-being, but to keep us alive. It needs us to exist in a predictable world. It does not like surprises. It does not want us to be caught off guard. Being exposed to threats and dangers is bad enough, but the most vulnerable state for us humans is being exposed to an unpredictable threat. Our brain cannot allow this, and will intervene to give us more controlled, predictable versions of threat. Our brain would rather we were the arbiter of our own downfall than risk being floored by something external. It would rather we were well-rehearsed in receiving internally-created hostility than risk being unprepared for it from others,” Dr Heriot-Maitland explained.
The brain prefers a known threat, instead of an unknown
The protective mechanism behind these self-sabotaging behaviours runs on a simple and fundamental principle – the brain prefers a controlled, known threat, instead of an out-of-control, unknown threat. The science behind this is based on how the human brain evolved – our brains are primarily wired for survival rather than happiness. Also, our brains are hardwired to spot danger everywhere, and that’s exactly how our species survive. However, it now means we are extra attuned to any potential hurts on the horizon – physical or emotional.This is an evolutionary tactic of ‘better safe than sorry’, according to Dr Heriot-Maitland. For instance, even though we know it might not be sensible to eat a share bag of chocolates, we do it anyway to avoid the bigger shame of failure. Another example, even if someone does not really hate us, we might still avoid them anyway, to avoid the potential bigger rejection in the future. “Our brains have evolved to favour perceiving threat, even when there isn’t one, in order to elicit a protective response in us. We have all inherited a highly sensitive threat-detection and threat-response system,” he said,
Procrastination , perfectionism , and pessimism
Procrastination, perfectionism, and pessimism are common self-sabotaging behaviours. Perfectionism operates similarly to procrastination, but through different mechanisms. While procrastination diverts attention away from tasks, perfectionists might show a hyper-focus and attention to detail with the hope of ensuring that errors are not being made. The primary motivation is often to avoid failure, but this puts the perfectionist at risk of stress and burnout.Self-criticism, on the other hand, is another form of self-sabotage, whether trying to self-improve or self-blame to create a feeling of agency and control. These behaviours all involve a neurological hijacking in which the brain’s threat-response system co-opts higher cognitive functions, such as imagination and reasoning.The threat system utilises these cognitive functions, which is why when experiencing fear, our imagination can become instantly flooded with fear-related predictive scenarios, he explained.However, there is one problem with self-sabotaging behaviours – they often become self-fulfilling prophecies.“If we think we are not very good at something, we may not try our best and then end up performing worse than we would have had we made a different prediction. Or if we think someone doesn’t like us, and we avoid them, then our fear of rejection may have stood in the way of creating a relationship.”He called self-sabotaging behaviour ‘controlled explosions’. “The bomb squad is not our enemies. They are protecting something big, something hurt, something wounded, or painful. In many cases, it may be linked to a difficult life experience – a threat, a trauma, or a tragedy. The controlled explosions do harm us, though – we must not lose sight of that either.”“We don’t want to fight these behaviours, but nor do we want to appease them and let them carry on controlling, dictating, and sabotaging our lives. There are choices we have here,” Heriot-Maitland concluded. Note: The information provided in this article is for educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before starting any new medication or treatment, or before changing your diet or supplement regimen.
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